Most of us want to make changes in our lives, we want to be more fulfilled, happier. We may feel like we put a lot of effort into trying to change ourselves only to find that after making some progress our old habits and tendencies come back, sometimes even stronger. This can be frustrating and dispiriting and as we get older we can become despondent that we are never going to fully live the life we long for.
Focusing is a process of listening to your body in a gentle accepting way. Being supported by another persons presence makes it easier to give yourself the empathy and space that allows whatever is there to be heard and seen. In that accepting space often what comes brings fresh perspectives and (what is known in focusing circles as) life forward movement.
To quote Eugene Gendlin who developed focusing ‘What is split off, not felt, remains the same. When it is felt, it changes. Most people don’t know this. They think that by not permitting the feeling of their negative ways they make themselves good. On the contrary, that keeps these negatives static, the same from year to year. A few moments of feeling it in your body allows it to change. If there is in you something bad or sick or unsound, let it inwardly be, and breathe. That’s the only way it can evolve and change into the form it needs.’
In focusing we listen to our bodies and often to our surprise we realise our bodies hold all the experience we have been through in our lives as well as a knowing of what our next steps might be. This knowing comes from the depths and we can follow it to make better choices and decisions in our lives, to improve our communication and relationships, to live more fully and creatively.
Focusing will enable you to find and change where your life is stuck, cramped, hemmed in, slowed down. And it will enable you to change – to live from a deeper place than just your thoughts and feelings.Gendlin